The puzzle of art and creativity has been a constant companion. I wrestle with these questions almost daily: Why do I do this; what's the purpose; what's my objective, what does this drawing mean; what's my problem?
I'm not gonna lie--sometimes it's a tormented struggle. But it can be a pleasant and amusing learning experience as well. Often the difference between making it wrenching or enjoyable is my own prerogative. And while the necessity to draw or paint has never been my choice, I usually can decide whether or not the experience is a tortured activity, or one of peaceful contentment.
The poet Pablo Neruda wrote: "All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are." For any person, this requires creation and creativity, and for most of us, it can be a fearful road. Sometimes it's scary because we just don't want to appear narcissistic. More often, the process of revealing what we are stabs us with fear--we imagine ostracism or ridicule if anyone finds out the truth. Worse, we wade into a hoped-for intimacy, and we perceive a total lack of interest from others--we find we don't matter to them at all.
I can discuss process and technique easily, but I squirm when asked to verbally examine and explain the true inner wellsprings that feed my art. In truth, it's because I don't want words to convey the ideas present in the images I make--the viewer should imagine his or her own meaning.
I know that for some, talking about the image is as important as the final artwork. That's just not me. And I often find this blog an uncomfortable exercise because of that.
But the bottom line: My art is what I am, at the time that I make it. And, no different than anyone else, I want to convey that to others. Creating while not caring what others might think about my art/me is a challenge. Continuing to create after realizing that most people could not care less what I am or do is another. But I'm probably not alone on that path--there's comfort in that I guess.
Thanks for reading--I do appreciate it.
...and Happy 2014!